WHY DO PEOPLE DRAW ON BAD BEHAVIOURS?
Ask anyone do you want to be like your parents/caregivers ? Ninety nine percent of the time you will be confronted with a strongly asserted “Never”. What is shockingly more important, is the minute we experience a serious life event or change, the most accessible patterns of behaviour are the ones we have previously learned.
For many it is our parent’s tendencies, voices, ways of disciplining or merely coping and self-soothing skills that we draw on. Due to this reason, it becomes very important to build insight into our attachment patterns-i.e. the ways in which we view ourselves and our world, which shape every encounter and relationship we have. In addition to, our ways of self-soothing and coping in times of distress or when feeling out of control.
HOW TO CHANGE NEGATIVE PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOUR
Much of our work with clients revolves around teaching them to build insights of their familial patterns of behavior, but secondly to teach individuals ways that they relate and understand the world. Consequently that understanding develops their coping skills, and ways of staying safe in their multiple relationships at work, in their social, personal and romantic lives.
INSIGHT BUILDING IS THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS CHANGE
It is with this awareness, and insight into our patterns of behavior that the opportunity to make changes becomes possible. For many of our clients we often encourage starting the process by journaling-i.e., free association where it involves writing, not for it to be read, but to just access your unconscious patterns of thought. Then taking the time to read/communicate the patterns noticed with your therapist.